Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
