that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
