Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize