You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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