I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
