found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
you traded sex for a burrito?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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