I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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