whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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