If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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