Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
