i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
