Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
