So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
