good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
