He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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