were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
