ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize