Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
