You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize