There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
