No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
