She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
