I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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