There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I believe in your delicious
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
