Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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