Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
