just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
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i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
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Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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