Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
