I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
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I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
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Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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