the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
what day is it and did you see me today?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
