i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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