dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
