i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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