i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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