When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
