Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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