Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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