im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
