Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
