Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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