dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
