I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Randomize
