There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
