I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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