So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
