Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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