I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
handjob tips. give me some.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
