Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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