the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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