I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My legs feel like baby dolphins
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
