You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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