If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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