I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
