Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
