She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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