you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I believe in your delicious
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