He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
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good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
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He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.