Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I wish I could punch you in the face.

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  (313): I wish I could punch you in the face. http://tfl.nu/jewc
  Replies (4) Good night (1408) Bad night (623)
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  (631): View more from New York

  conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.

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  (631): conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers. http://tfl.nu/22w1
  Replies (40) Good night (831) Bad night (2659)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much

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  (828): I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much http://tfl.nu/wzca
  Replies (14) Good night (1532) Bad night (2913)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7

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  (201): In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7 http://tfl.nu/idur
  Replies (153) Good night (1538) Bad night (4500)
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  (516): View more from New York

  On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Strong 6

  (516): View more from New York

  That's an oxymoron.

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  (516): On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck? (201): Strong 6 (516): That's an oxymoron. http://tfl.nu/n45n
  Replies (32) Good night (1327) Bad night (4356)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?

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  (404): Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip? http://tfl.nu/mroo
  Replies (35) Good night (1124) Bad night (4977)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month

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  (360): Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month http://tfl.nu/vjm5
  Replies (16) Good night (2124) Bad night (3839)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  You totally left a blue butt print on our banister

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.

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  (417): You totally left a blue butt print on our banister (573): Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time. http://tfl.nu/r57f
  Replies (12) Good night (3296) Bad night (937)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic

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  (303): Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic http://tfl.nu/n8k4
  Replies (10) Good night (3538) Bad night (866)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again

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  (708): there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again http://tfl.nu/npn0
  Replies (11) Good night (2203) Bad night (1166)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.

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  (636): He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us. http://tfl.nu/lk9h
  Replies (8) Good night (2041) Bad night (774)
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  (619): View more from California

  Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.

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  (619): Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me. http://tfl.nu/2xwv
  Replies (5) Good night (472) Bad night (1960)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.

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  (208): Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap. http://tfl.nu/81wb
  Replies (5) Good night (1205) Bad night (797)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Welcome to college.

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  (402): Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest. (712): Welcome to college. http://tfl.nu/tyv4
  Replies (9) Good night (1872) Bad night (541)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture

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  (425): But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture http://tfl.nu/bm5g
  Replies (1) Good night (402) Bad night (182)

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