Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.

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(703): I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts. http://tfl.nu/s7w5

Replies (12) Good night (829) Bad night (1344)
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(867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.

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(867): Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes. http://tfl.nu/k4jj

Replies (13) Good night (2692) Bad night (1210)
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(845): View more from New York

Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?

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(845): Do brothers usually kiss their sisters? http://tfl.nu/7etx

Replies (38) Good night (946) Bad night (9863)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.

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(870): may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween. http://tfl.nu/5k16

Replies (5) Good night (3111) Bad night (952)
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(231): View more from Michigan

We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.

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(231): We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result. http://tfl.nu/ddxt

Replies (2) Good night (2360) Bad night (940)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?

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(303): Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket? http://tfl.nu/im3g

Replies (8) Good night (2623) Bad night (983)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!

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(604): Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now! http://tfl.nu/v05a

Replies (7) Good night (1552) Bad night (570)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol

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(321): Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol http://tfl.nu/hpqb

Replies (11) Good night (654) Bad night (1440)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight

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(775): He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight http://tfl.nu/2xsm

Replies (6) Good night (1427) Bad night (854)
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(702): View more from Nevada

He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin

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(702): He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin http://tfl.nu/paaj

Replies (4) Good night (1355) Bad night (703)
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(775): View more from Nevada

FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left

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(775): FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left http://tfl.nu/965v

Replies (7) Good night (442) Bad night (1154)
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(813): View more from Florida

Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism

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(813): Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism http://tfl.nu/7mxl

Replies (5) Good night (705) Bad night (363)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet

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(720): Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet http://tfl.nu/1g40

Replies (4) Good night (1217) Bad night (354)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?

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(603): What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway? http://tfl.nu/5x4t

Replies (1) Good night (329) Bad night (574)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.

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(423): He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him. http://tfl.nu/spuu

Replies (5) Good night (1044) Bad night (253)

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