i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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