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• (712): View more from Iowa

  i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.

  Fav 19 1479 9457

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.

  Fav 31 1199 6194

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.

  Fav 18 7018 1295

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  23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (347): View more from New York

  She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her

  Fav 10 4878 1276

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  no. you cant fuck a burger.

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• (585): View more from New York

  that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag

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• (850): View more from Florida

  If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.

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  21 Rich People Confess The Best And Worst Things About Being Wealthy

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.

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• (315): View more from New York

  I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.

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• (914): View more from New York

  I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.

  Fav 3 717 313

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• (573): View more from Missouri

  What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?

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