She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
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So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
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I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??