Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.

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  (516): It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch. http://tfl.nu/fh6f
  Replies (9) Good night (6252) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now

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  (502): I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now http://tfl.nu/ys0t
  Replies (10) Good night (2184) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.

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  (916): A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever. http://tfl.nu/cexy
  Replies (65) Good night (1461) Bad night (5485) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won

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  (908): Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won http://tfl.nu/nhsb
  Replies (208) Good night (2117) Bad night (4066) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...

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  (803): For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer... http://tfl.nu/txcz
  Replies (20) Good night (4427) Bad night (807) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.

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  (716): It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead. http://tfl.nu/ixsn
  Replies (3) Good night (2422) Bad night (787) Order T-Shirt
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  (813): View more from Florida

  im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.

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  (813): im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots. http://tfl.nu/i8ur
  Replies (5) Good night (3883) Bad night (1409) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.

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  (901): There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/rmal
  Replies (2) Good night (2978) Bad night (876) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong

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  (740): You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong http://tfl.nu/17fl
  Replies (11) Good night (3031) Bad night (775) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener

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  (570): My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener http://tfl.nu/73wy
  Replies (8) Good night (1851) Bad night (1450) Order T-Shirt
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"

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  (580): Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying" http://tfl.nu/0sq3
  Replies (4) Good night (3736) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.

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  (724): Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge. http://tfl.nu/wjo8
  Replies (3) Good night (1350) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death

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  (816): im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death http://tfl.nu/dz9y
  Replies (3) Good night (1382) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.

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  (916): Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice. http://tfl.nu/f46v
  Replies (6) Good night (1357) Bad night (353) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.

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  (917): I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting. http://tfl.nu/4lzp
  Replies (7) Good night (1212) Bad night (174) Order T-Shirt

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