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• (727): View more from Florida

  He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (940): View more from Texas

  good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom

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• (360): View more from Washington

  last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.

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• (956): View more from Texas

  If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?

  Fav 4 292 176

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• (559): View more from California

  Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.

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