You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?