Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
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Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
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Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.