The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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