as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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