return my video game
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
