i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
